Managing Fear of Failure: Don't Set The Mousetrap! with Taylor Stutzman, MA, CMPC

Hello! Welcome to the Monkey Mind Newsletter where we provide you with the tools to be a more successful and resilient athlete and human. 

CONTRIBUTOR
Taylor Stutzman, MA, CMPC

Taylor is a Certified Mental Performance Consultant through the Association for Applied Sport Psychology. He received his Master’s degree in Sport and Performance Psychology from the University of Denver where he served as Vice President of the Center for Performance Excellence. He then worked at IMG Academy as a Senior Mental Performance Coach where he worked with thousands of athletes from 8 years old to professionals, across many different sports. He also worked with medical students on stress management, and with corporations and executives on how the principles of mental performance apply to the business world. Taylor currently is an adjunct professor at the University of Denver's Graduate School of Professional Psychology. In his free time you can find him on a golf course or in the mountains, or ideally, both!

Website: www.waterstoneperformance.com/

TOPIC
Managing Fear of Failure: Don't Set The Mousetrap!

Navigating between fear and real danger is crucial, especially for athletes. Danger is straightforward—it's when there's actual risk involved. Fear, on the other hand, is more complex; it's something we create in our minds. The good news is, since we create many of our fears, we also have the power to manage them. But here's the tricky part—our brains sometimes mix up the two. Let me explain.

Imagine standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon, looking down thousands of feet at the Colorado River. That feeling in your stomach, the nervousness creeping in—that’s your brain sensing something different and possibly risky, so it sets off alarm bells. But guess what? That same nervousness kicks in when you're about to give a presentation. Even though speaking in front of people isn't dangerous, your brain still sees it as something out of the ordinary, and it rings those alarm bells again.

The thing is, our brains aren't great at distinguishing between real danger and situations that just make us feel uncomfortable. That's why we often get more nervous during games than during practice. In practice, we know messing up isn't a big deal, but during games, our brains think there's a lot at stake, and that's when the nerves kick in. We might call it a fear of failing, but it's more about worrying what others will think if we mess up.

Now, think of a mousetrap. It's only dangerous when it's set, right? But if someone tosses you a mousetrap that's not set, your first instinct would probably be to panic and avoid it. That's because our brains always assume the worst to protect us. Whether the mousetrap is set or not, our brains act like it's set, and we get nervous. It's a survival instinct, but it can mess with our performance.

Sports can be like that mousetrap. When we're playing, it's not a life-or-death situation, but our brains still go into protective mode, making us nervous. Sometimes, we even set our own traps by telling ourselves untrue or unhelpful stuff—like, “if we fail, everyone will think we're not good enough.” It's not true, but our brains believe it, and then we start playing not to mess up instead of playing to win.

MENTAL PERFORMANCE TOOL
Strategies to Manage Fear & Nerves

But here's the thing: what other people think doesn't make us any less talented!  We’re human, we’re never going to eliminate fear and the nerves that come with it. But we can train ourselves to perform well in these situations. So, here’s some strategies for managing fear and nerves:

1. Take a few slow breaths: like a snow globe that has been shaken up, we tend to speed up when we get nervous. Our hearts start racing and our minds start chattering, a few slow breaths help settle the snowglobe. 

2. Crack a smile: a simple smile reminds our brain that these nerves mean we’re excited and want to be in this situation. Sometimes we’ll be both afraid and excited and that's ok too, because if it’s not at least a little of both, then usually it's only fear.

3. Focus on action: ask yourself “what am I going to do right now?” This takes our attention away from the “what ifs” and “what could go wrong” and refocuses on what we can control. 

Keep in mind that your opponent will experience fear and nerves just like you! If you can train yourself to respond more constructively in these situations, not only will you be more consistent, you also may have a huge competitive advantage. So next time you feel the fear of failure creeping in, or the nerves start to build, take a few slow breaths, crack a smile, and focus on the action you’re about to take.

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